The Canonical List of Band Jokes

I am the Almighty Band Director who brought you through rookie camp and onto this field that we do march on. Thou shalt obey my commandments.

1. Thou shalt have no other gods before the director.
2. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven noises or any sounds unlikeness to the music that hath come before thee, or that shall come after thee.
3. Thou shalt not take the name of thy band in vain.
4. Six days shalt thou labor, and do all thy practicing, but the seventh day is the sabbath of the band life: In it thou shalt have a concert.
5. Honor thy section leader and thy band director: That thy days many be long in the band, which the Lord thy God giveth thee.
6. Thou shalt not damage thy instrument, nor conspire to murder a player whom is thy superior.
7. Thou shalt not commit to other activities nor put any other task before thy band.
8. Thou shalt not steal sheet music, instruments, or any other item possessed by another member of thy band.
9. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy stand partner.
10. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's instrument, thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's reed, nor his ligature, nor his mouthpiece, nor anything that is thy neighbor's.